


Glitter In The Air

by augendandaddend



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Everyone Is Gay, Everyone is probably ooc, F/F, Gwaine Being Gwaine (Merlin), M/M, Merlin Is In A Band, Merlin is a Little Shit, My First Work in This Fandom, One Shot, Parent Gaius (Merlin), Pining Arthur, arthur is gay, bully!Arthur, but dont worry he's good now, but not really, freya and gwaine are sarcastic little shits, gaius is awesome, im sorry, merlin is bisexual, singer! merlin, with his best buds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 09:00:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27468370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/augendandaddend/pseuds/augendandaddend
Summary: Merlin is in a band with Gwaine, Lancelot, and Freya and they may be only locally famous, but they have potential. One night, their gig is going just as planned until a familiar face from Merlin's past shows up.
Relationships: Gwaine & Merlin (Merlin), Gwen & Merlin (Merlin), Gwen/Morgana (Merlin), Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin & Morgana (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 77





	Glitter In The Air

**Author's Note:**

> I'm pissed off at my boyfriend so this has been my outlet for the past couple of days. Hope you enjoy it and please be kind, it's my first ever fic.

The smell of incense and dusty books soaks into Merlin’s hair and clothes. He sits in his uncle’s natural medicines and remedies shop, “The Four Humors”. It’s lined with rows upon rows of books on natural medicine, bundles of twigs and leaves hanging from the walls, and jars of boiled water with various flowers and roots. Uncle Gaius calls the shop his greatest pride, and if Merlin didn’t know any better, he’d say it’s true.  
Merlin taps the eraser end of his pencil on the notebook open in front of him, frustrated and unable to focus on the words and notes scribbled on the page. The radio next to him plays ‘Lavinia’ by The Veils, and he sighs. Nothing he writes would be good enough anyway. He shuts the notebook closed and sets the pencil behind his ear, opting to slouch on his stool and take deep breaths of the lavender being emitted throughout the shop.  
When the bell jingles, Merlin sits up and gets ready to greet the customer, “Welcome-Oh, Gwen!”  
She smiles and keeps one hand in her gray tweed jacket, the other drags along a beautiful, dark-haired woman with piercing light eyes. They come up to the counter and when Merlin raises an eyebrow at Gwen, “Just got off work?”

“Yes, this is Morgana, she’s also a designer. We’ve worked together on a few projects, and only recently...got to know each other.”

Morgana reaches her hand out and when Merlin takes it, the scary frown turns into a gentle smile, “Nice to meet you. Gwen says you two have been practically joined at the hip since high school.”

“We even went to the same college,” Merlin picks at the wood on the counter, parts of it starting to chip away after enduring years of his nervous habit. “‘Course, she got a degree, I ended up dropping out.”

“Were you also going for design?”

“Nah, pharmaceutical, actually. So, you can see how that didn’t quite fit.”

“Oh,” Morgana looks around the dark green shop. Not much natural light got in, but the softly glowing lamps designed to look like lanterns made it feel like a magical forest. “I think things work out for the best, in the end. Hope you don’t mind me asking, but what’s with the name of the shop?”

He laughs and scratches the nape of his neck, almost knocking the pencil to the floor, “Gaius fully supports modern medicine and all, but he’s found that most times, simple problems need simple solutions. Like a soak in a hot bath with eucalyptus Epsom salts to help ease stress and tension. A lot of the products we use were growing in the same ground hundreds of years ago. Ancient Greeks believed the body was made of just four substances they called humors; blood, phlegm, yellow bile, and black bile. They thought that if you were sick, it was just an imbalance of one of the humors. That’s why bloodletting was such common practice for so long.” Merlin watches the girls’ expression, Gwen’s heard this all before, and Morgana seems to be just interested enough to listen but doesn’t seem to be as big of a history nerd as him. “Anyway, we get a fair amount of people who mistake us for some kind of comedy club. They never find my amusement all that funny.”

Morgana only hums, “You know, if Gwen hadn’t told me, I would never have suspected you to be in a rock band.”

Gwen’s eyes widen and she lightly tugs on Morgana’s hand, “Uh, yeah, I hope you don’t mind me telling her.”

“No problem,” He shrugs. Sure, he was shy about it in school. He didn’t want anyone outside of their friend group to know the quiet boy in sweaters and all AP classes played bass guitar and sang at stuffy bars on weekends. But that was then, when people could nag him and ask for free booze they couldn’t get without a fake ID, pretending to be his friend. “Is she coming to the gig tonight?”

“I was actually here to ask if it was cool with you.”

Merlin gives her an exasperated look, but grins, “I don’t own the bar, Gwen. You can bring whoever you want and not worry about hanging out once we’re done.”

The door leading to the upstairs apartment creaks open to reveal Gaius hanging up his ancient flip phone, “Just finished this week’s orders. I’ve decided to get extra jasmine to battle the seasonal depression bound to pick up. Merlin with this music, it’s no wonder they think we’re witches.”

Merlin picks up his phone and changes the playlist, which was currently on a Hozier song, to a classical station. Morgana gives Gaius a confused look, “I thought only girls were witches.”

“Just because society pushes a plate in front of you, doesn’t mean you have to eat it,” Gaius claims. He then promptly disappears behind a bookshelf and begins reorganizing.

“There are male witches, too,” Merlin explains. “My uncle is strange, but he let me wear as much pink as I wanted when I was young.”

Gwen claps her hands, “Do you remember when he bought us a nail kit and we spent the whole summer practicing painting our nails?”

“You always had the steadier hand,” He scoffs.

“Should’ve been a surgeon,” Gwen gushes. “Well, I’m glad you could meet Morgana, but we should get going. I don’t want her going to her first Wormwood performance in a power suit.”

“Good idea, she needs something safe to sweat in.”

“Sweat? Gwen told me it’d be laid back.”

“Well, if you get a table, sure. Otherwise, expect to get very comfortable with some strangers tonight.”

“Merlin!”

~~~

Merlin left Gaius to close up the shop and began making his way down the streets, earbuds blasting his Bad Bitch playlist. It helps him build confidence before a performance and the band seems to have gotten used to it. They even have started to hook up his phone to a speaker backstage while getting ready. Gwaine tries (and fails) to twerk to “Formation” by Beyonce every time.  
By the time he gets to the Rising Sun, his head is bobbing and he’s singing along, “I don’t mean to be rude, but I look so damn good on ya-Ah! Shit, sorry.” He almost runs into the bar owner, Danny.  
Danny just shakes his head, “It’s a wonder you never end up face down in a ditch, Merlin. The guys are in the back setting up already.”  
“Thanks. Oh! They remembered my bass, right? I don’t want a repeat of last Saturday.”  
“Nobody wants a repeat of that night. You guys may be a cover band, but I never want to turn this into a karaoke bar again.”  
“Don’t worry, Danny. If that ever happens again...I’ll go on that date with you!”  
“Eh...I’d rather not date someone because of a deal, it seems shady.”  
“And yet the bartending certificates are fake.”  
“Why would I send my bartenders to a school when they’re allowed cheat sheets? You’re told to work in silence at school for years and suddenly, when entering the workforce, you’re encouraged to communicate with each other as if you weren’t reprimanded for it your whole life. Besides, once a person gets drunk enough, they can’t tell if they’re getting the right drink.”  
“Okay, okay, didn’t mean to wake the dragon.”  
“Just get to the back, Merlin.”  
“Aye, cap’n!”

He can hear familiar boisterous laughter and metal clanging together as the boys haphazardly get the instruments from Gwaine’s van onto the stage. Strange enough, the blood-red van with a hawk painted on its side isn’t technically the band van. It’s Gwaine’s home for as long as he insists on being a “lone wolf”. It’s complete bullshit, of course, considering he can’t go a day without drinking with friends or finding someone to share a bed with.  
“Merls, my love, can you tell Freya it’s sexist to assume she can sit out on helping us with equipment?”  
“I put my drumset together, you guys are responsible for your own shit,” She defends herself as she puts her dark hair into a messy ponytail.  
“Gwaine, you heard the lady,” Merlin turns away from a groaning Gwaine. “Freya, play nice.”  
Freya uses her index fingers to indicate horns on the top of her head, “Might this demon ask if you brought the lotion promised from when I bought your round of drinks last weekend?”  
Merlin opens his bag and retrieves the rose-scented lotion she loves, “As promised. Where’s Lance?”  
“On the phone outside. I think he’s still convinced he can get that recording studio to lower the price for us.”  
“They won’t bother unless we come up with our own music for once.”  
“Don’t you have that trusty notebook you always carry around?”  
“Nothing useful.”  
“Hm.”

~~

As they get on stage, everyone takes their places. Lance on the keyboard, Gwaine on lead guitar, Freya on her drums, and Merlin with his bass and microphone. The crowd is small but packed in like sardines in the tiny bar.  
As he adjusts the mic, he gives a playful smile to a few girls up front. They giggle and jump with each other. While only locally known, being in a band gives you a certain rep in the dating pool. Good or bad, someone will find it attractive enough.  
Merlin spots Gwen and Morgana pushing their way to the front. He waves at them and laughs when Gwen points her thumb at the low-cut top Morgana has changed into and cups her own breasts with an impressed expression. He laughs and gives her the OK signal.  
“Alright, for those of you who don’t know, we’re Wormwood,” Merlin speaks into the mic. “I know, ugly name, right?” He hears Gwaine protest while the audience laughs. “At least it’s not as bad as The Beatles. We’re gonna start the night off with one of my personal favorites, ‘Kill Our Way To Heaven’, please enjoy.”

It’s a fairly easy night. The regulars have fun and cheer at songs they recognize, and anyone new respectively nods along to the song. Booze flows freely throughout and Gwen must be DD since Morgana seems to have had her fair share of mojitos, and Gwen stopped after just one of her typical gimlets.  
“I can’t bring it back on everything I’ve done, And now there’s no-one else left to love,” Merlin rasps into the mic. His pulse is throbbing in his fingertips and sweat beads down his back but he loves it. This is what helps him to thrive. This is what makes years of struggle worth it. “I’m used to the darkness, I’m used to the darkness.”  
He spots a couple of men approach the girls, but they seem friendly. Morgana slings her arm over one of their shoulders. He can’t see his face, but something tugs in his mind. When he leans down for Morgana to shout into his ear, he seems nervous. The man turns fully to the stage and Merlin’s heart stops, “I’m used to the darkness, I’m used to the darkness.”  
The song ends and Merlin slightly stumbles back, not breaking eye contact with the man. He ignores the worried looks from Lance and Gwaine and turns to Freya, “Are you comfortable doing My Medicine now? I thought we could switch it up a bit.”  
She seems confused but nods anyway. He takes his mic and attaches it to her stand in the drumset. He’ll never stop being amazed at how she manages to play such a brute instrument and sing at the same time. He steps to the side to allow the audience to see her and stands to the side by Lance.  
Lance hovers his hands above the starting notes and eyes Merlin, “You good?”  
Merlin only nods and cues the group to start.

“It’s Sunday, folks. You all have work and school in the morning, so we’re gonna end tonight to get your bones buzzing just enough to get you home.”  
“Or whoever’s bed you end up in,” Gwaine pushes his face into the microphone next to Merlin. As if sensing what has him so tense, he lays a firm kiss onto Merlin’s cheek before backing away.  
It manages to get a chuckle out of Merlin, and he’s glad to have someone so carefree, “Sure, Gwaine. Now, put your hands together for Wormwood, as we end with ‘SCAR’.”  
There is some scattered applause, but the voices are loud. Merlin doesn’t allow his eyes to lock onto the man at all.

~~

After ensuring a very drunk Morgana gets into Gwen’s car, Merlin waves them goodbye. He then notices the group of guys from earlier. Before he could make his escape- “Merlin? Is that you? Holy shit! You were great tonight!” Elyan jogs up to him and gives him a friendly slap on the back. “Sorry I can’t make it as much as my sister, but I live on the other side of town.”  
“Don’t worry about it, dude,” Merlin only says dude when he’s nervous. It’s all thanks to Gwaine since it seems to be one of his favorite words.  
“Oh, you remember Leon, Arthur, and Percy from high school, yeah? They were in my grade, so you didn’t see them much, but they hung out a lot at our house. And Mordred here is actually a year below you. He joined the board at Pendragon Inc. just a few months ago.”  
Merlin forces a smile, “Yeah, I knew your faces were familiar.”  
“I think you were in one of my AP classes,” Leon comments, “Government?”  
“Probably,” Merlin doesn’t wish to be here anymore. Sure, they seem nice enough, but he can’t stand those bright blue eyes boring right into the side of his face.  
Mordred was quiet until now, but his eyes shine with excitement, “I remember hearing you practice in the empty music room during lunch. I’d usually sit in the hallway rather than deal with the chaotic cafeteria, and found myself looking forward to eavesdropping. Uh, sorry, by the way.”  
Merlin only gives him an assuring tilt of the head, “No problem. Not like I can get nervous from not knowing anyone was there. Anyway, I should get going. See you around.”

With a few grunts and waves, they go their separate ways. Merlin sighs to calm his fast pulse and runs a hand over his face. His hands grasp the strap of his bag across his torso as a finger taps the material erratically. He looks around before slowing his pace and humming to calm himself down.  
The road is littered with wrappers and beer bottles. The air carries a musk that seems to slick itself into Merlin’s nostrils, and distant sirens fade into the background.  
Eventually, his feet are lazily carrying his body across the pavement as his voice, still loose from the performance, echos through the empty streets, “Have you ever fed a lover with just your hands? Closed your eyes and trusted, just trusted? Have you ever thrown a fistful of glitter in the air? Have you ever looked fear in the face, and just said I don’t care?”  
It’s a song his mother would play when she couldn’t stop crying. And she’d sing it to him when he was the one crying. When he ended up living with Gaius by the time he was eight, he couldn’t sleep without singing it to himself in his much too big bed. It was a twin, just like in his mother’s apartment, but he wasn’t used to sleeping alone.  
“There you are, sitting in the garden, clutching my coffee, calling me Sugar. You called me Sugar, Have you ever wished for an endless night? Lassoed the moon and the stars and pulled that rope tight, Have you ever held your breath and asked yourself, Will it ever get better than tonight? Tonight.”  
“You always were an enigma.”  
Merlin turns to find Arthur. He had been hoping to avoid him for the rest of his life, but destiny seems to have other plans. He takes the time to appreciate the form-fitting red t-shirt and dark wash jeans. Merlin is suddenly conscious of the fact that his wardrobe has drastically changed since graduation. He’s wearing his typical loose band shirt (tonight he decided on Yungblud), with ripped black jeans, and blue flannel.  
“Didn’t your friends go that way?” Merlin points back down the street, where everyone’s cars were.  
“Told them to go on without me.”  
“So what’s your plan, then?”  
“Get an Uber.”  
“No, I meant-” Merlin lets out a sharp breath. “Why are you following me?”  
Arthur lets worry slip onto his face, “I just wanted to talk.”  
Okay, he’s genuinely surprised at that, “Um. Okay.”  
With a deep breath, Arthur takes his place next to Merlin and they walk slowly. It takes a couple of minutes before Arthur actually says anything, “I was a jerk to you in school.”  
“Duh.”  
“And I want to apologize for it.”  
“...Alright.”  
Arthur jerks his head to look at Merlin, “That’s it? No argument? No insult? I bullied you from 3rd Grade until high school graduation, and all you say is ‘alright’?”  
Merlin kicks a stray bottle on the street, “The tighter we hang onto the past, the more warped it becomes. Being angry is exhausting. I consider hate to be a waste of effort and time, so...alright.”  
“But, I-”  
“We were kids Arthur. All I wanted was to run away when I saw you tonight, and it made me realize that we both need to move on. Yes, you bullied me, but I have long since realized you just needed to deal with your own problems. It’s not my fault you took it out on me.”  
“I don’t want to move on. I mean, yes, I want to move on, but not away.”  
“Away from…?”  
“You.”  
Merlin pauses in his strides but doesn’t hesitate before continuing along with the path home, “That actually explains a lot. Couldn’t handle your past crush on me, huh?”  
Arthur grimaces, “Internalized homophobia.”  
“I’m not gay.”  
“But you like guys,” Arthur scrunches his eyebrows together.  
“Yes.”  
“I remember everyone pretty much knew you were different when you walked into Miss Klein’s class with those sparkly teal rainboots. You wore them every day no matter how many times we poured mud into them.”  
“They were my favorite,” Merlin shrugs.  
“I think I was also jealous of your uncle. He came to every single parent-teacher conference, and no matter how many times a teacher discouraged your fashion choices, he defended you. I don’t remember my father meeting any of my teachers.”  
Merlin glances away, never good at consoling someone, “I’m lucky to have him.”

The whole walk is spent reminiscing on their school days. Like the crazy chemistry teacher responsible for every fire alarm going off. Or when some students changed every screen saver in the computer lab to a picture of Danny Devito in a dress. Arthur was laughing hysterically after finding out Wormwood was responsible.  
“By the way,” He sobers up and wipes a tear from his eye. “How did you come up with the name for the band?”  
“It’s really not all that interesting. Gwaine walked around the shop until he found a funny word. Everyone else just went with it.”  
Speaking of the shop, they ended up at the doorstep. Merlin pulled his key out, but only looked into the dark shop, “A part of me thinks Gaius was only lenient with my choices as a kid because he felt sorry for me.”  
“What?”  
“My mom loves me. And I love her. After my dad disappeared when she got pregnant, she was left off pretty badly. But she would do anything to put food on the table and make sure I had new shoes for each school year. Eventually, I was taken away from her and all she could do was ask my elderly uncle to take custody of me. One day, he took me shopping when I started at the new school. I didn’t care enough about anything in the stores, so he would grab any shirts and pants that would fit me. The only thing I showed interest in were those teal boots.” Merlin leans on the doorway and shoves his hands into his pockets. “Gaius is practically my father, but sometimes I wonder if I’m still the frail little boy he took in all those years ago.”  
Arthur only looks into his eyes, seemingly trying to find an answer to a question Merlin hasn’t asked. He mimics Merlin’s stance, touching the toes of their shoes together. Arthur is wearing expensive leather boots, while Merlin has converse so old holes are starting to wear into the sole.  
“Earlier, you said ‘past crush’,” Arthur speaks lowly, looking down at their feet. “It’s not in the past. I would like you to know that it’s still very much present.”  
Once again, Merlin’s heartbeat picks up, “Oh.”  
“Is that okay?”  
Years of bullying say no. His heart says nothing has been more okay. Merlin steps forward and presses his forehead to Arthur’s while grasping his hand, “It will be.”

Time might not heal all wounds, but sometimes it provides the balm.

**Author's Note:**

> The songs mentioned/alluded to are:   
> 'Lavinia'- The Veils  
> 'Like Real People Do'- Hozier  
> 'Ain't My Fault'- Zara Larsson  
> 'Kill Our Way To Heaven'- Michl  
> 'Used To The Darkness'- Des Rocs  
> 'My Medicine'- The Pretty Reckless  
> 'SCAR'- Ashton Irwin  
> 'Glitter In The Air'- Pink


End file.
